Date: September 27, 2003
State: California

I have only been clean of the G for about 8 months now. I say "only" because in my 15 years or so of G abuse 8 months really does not seem like a whole lot of time. I had hundreds of relapses because I could not stop myself. I lost it all and did not care because I always knew I could get more G. This drug is so powerful and addictive that I am not sure what I can compare it to. I have not felt anything like it in my life. The unique aspect of GHB is that the addict will use it CONTINUALLY ALL DAY LONG, EVERY DAY, until he is forced to stop. You go to work high, company and family functions high and go about your daily life high as a kite, thinking nothing of it. The fact that you are taking more every 2 hours, every day of your life just to function does not strike some of us as being a problem until it is too late. At least for me.

When I first started using GHB it was a legal health supplement sold in health food stores. You could buy it at your local gym, LEGALLY! It was touted as the "perfect legal supplement". It was a 'natural' steroid and growth hormone producer. It cured insomnia and helped slow down the aging process. Maybe that is why I look so young! It was also an instant cure for depression and sexual problems. It made you be the person you wished you were. And there is NO PROOF THAT IT IS ADDICTIVE. There is some fact to all of these statements, but not when it comes to the addictive properties.

As I found out, it is addictive as hell. I can not control myself when it is around. I have been addicted to many drugs but when it comes to trying to stop, nothing can even come close to GHB. Heroine and cocaine addiction are nothing compared to GHB. I will turn 31 in a few days, but spent about half of those years fighting to be clean of this drug. In my head I am over it now. I let it destroy my life and everything dear to me. But put it in front of me and I can't promise you that I would not take some. It starts out as fun. It really does. Do not let anyone tell you that the feeling you experience on G is bad. It makes you feel as if you rule the world and can do no wrong. You overcome all that makes you weak. With the right mix it is pure euphoria. It is perfection at it's best.

But that is only how the USER feels. Let us look at my addiction through the eyes of my wife, family and friends:

GHB makes you uncontrollably fall asleep in a split second if you take too much. I totaled 3 cars of my own and countless vehicles that I crashed into while 'intoxicated' on the drug. I used to pass out at work on the floor and have seizures from overdosing, and in the end from detoxing. I blamed it on detoxing from alcohol. I would get high and destroy my house. Don't remember it but I did. My wife locked herself in the bedroom fearing I would hurt her. I put many holes in many walls and kicked in every door in the house. The doors were not even locked but I decided it would be a good idea to kick them any way. I even tore other peoples houses and businesses apart when I was too high. You could not take me anywhere without me embarrassing you, destroying everything I came into contact with, or passing out at all the wrong times. I would do and say the dumbest things. I can't even begin to describe them here. I ended up in situations I could not get out of. For some reason when I took too much G, I would take my clothes off and run around my apartment complex. Kind of hard to explain that to your neighbors. "You see Mr. Neighbor, I just took too many drugs."

Almost every time I passed out my wife or any one who knew what was going on would have to pound on my chest to get my heart started again and get me breathing. I have lived here for 10 years and my entire apartment complex knows me as the naked drug addict. It consists of about 200 units. Try to live that one down as the police take me away cuffed and naked in front of several hundred people rubbernecking. I can live with the embarrassment if I stay strong, but the trust from my family is gone forever. Or at least after the 50th time they had to pick me up in ER due to an overdose. Man, I lost jobs, many cars, friends, lots of money in drug costs and legal fees, and all of my self respect. Anything important to me went away due to my addiction. The saddest thing to me is that it was ALL my fault.

I am G free now, finally. It only took half my life to do it. I have never come across anything like GHB. The feeling and the power of it just can not be described. Just read the so called 'studies' from about 10 years ago about GHB. It is referred to as a miracle supplement. It claimed to cure almost everything wrong in your life. Just have to realize that being in control of my life is better than living a life run by a drug. Overcoming the GHB addiction is possible. I am a very poor example of that but I was still successful. You really have to want to do it. My motto is "You have to WANT to quit and be READY to quit." It could be the hardest thing in life you have ever done, but yeah it can be done.

Get help today - or at least talk to someone.

Date: September 11, 2003
State: FL

Comments: Keep up the good work--from an emergency room nurse in a college town who has seen the effects of GHB at others up close and personal. I'm not surprised to see Panama City Beach, Florida featured on the 'Death list', but there are others who did not get medical care in time and have brain damage (college is no longer an option.)