Devastation to the Drugging Victim
I am a 58-year-old career woman. Not a drinker not a party person and definitely not someone who frequents bars or night clubs, but I became a victim of date rape last summer. I believe I was raped by two men. It has been the most traumatic and horrible experience of my life.
I was found at the side of the road in my car at 4:30 a.m. by the police. My car was wrecked and had three blown out tires and I have no memory of driving it. The police subsequently charged me with DWI. I have no memory of any of it except having two glasses of wine and being introduced by a friend to a handsome well dressed professional man; or so I thought. He asked me to go play pool with him. I was reluctant to go with him but my girlfriend said she and her friend knew him his name was Chris and he was a nice guy. An old man in his 70's was there with Chris and told me he was married and his wife was very sick and he takes care of her all the time and that Chris was his friend and a very upstanding guy and gentlemen.
So after about an hour of coaxing I did agree to go but said I wanted to drive my own car and I would follow him. We ended up at a private club in which the front door was locked, we went in and they locked the door again. When we got there the old man was at the bar. I remember thinking that was weird but we went to play pool. The bartender asked what I was drinking and I said cabernet he said he did have that and gave me a pinot grigio. The pinot grigio didn't taste good I set the glass down and honestly don't remember drinking it. We played pool and at one point Chris kept trying to unhook my bra and asked if it was a Victoria’s Secret because they are hard to get off. I remember saying no and it’s not gonna come off either. We played another game of pool and the next thing I remember was waking up in the hospital with no bra on and was scared because I didn't know where I was or what happened to me. The last thing I did remember was the old man having his hands all over my breasts and moaning and the bartender coming towards me.
Then it was like a big black shade came down and I still can’t remember anything. I even watched the police video with the police, fire trucks and ambulance there. When they tried to get me out of the car I fell flat on my head on the concrete. I didn't even try to put my hands out to break my fall. I was talking to the police I kept saying I only had 3 glasses of wine. I kept trying to get up and the police had to keep reminding me that I just fell and hit my head and they were calling the ambulance. It was horrible. Even when I watched the video I didn't even have a flash of memory of any of it. It was almost surreal watching myself and not remembering it. The police kept asking what drugs I was on. I kept saying I don't do drugs. They did not call in a drug analyzer although they discussed having one come to check me out. They never did a rape kit nor did they do a test for date rape drugs only for alcohol and I guess the common street drugs.
When my girlfriend and her boyfriend came the next morning and picked me up from the hospital within 30 minutes they took me back to the hospital and said I am not normal. I couldn't remember my last sentence to even hold an intelligent conversation. They wanted the hospital to test me for date rape drugs. Even though I said I was not raped. (My logical mind told me there's no way I could have been raped and not remember that.) I did tell them about the old man and the bartender and the black shade that came down. The hospital said they would have done all those tests last nite and I had to wait til Monday morning when the records office opened again to get my records and test results. So we left.
They brought me home and I slept most of the day and nite Saturday in between crying because I couldn't remember what happened. Sunday morning I had to get up early because a guy was coming to cut a limb off my tree that had been struck by lightning. So I got up and went to take a shower and while washing myself in the shower I smelled semen on my washcloth and basically broke down crying not knowing what to do. It was only then that I realized I was raped. I honestly think now, that Chris took me to this place and gave me to the old man and the bartender.
I had to go outside to greet the guy who was cutting the limb and on my way back into the house I walked directly into the garage door and broke my nose. I still had no coordination and my mind was still in a fog. I called my friend and we tried to get a urine test at minute clinic, urgent care and hospital. No one would give me a urine test without a doctor’s order. My doctor was out on maternity leave and I could not reach anyone . I did not even urinate all day and nite Saturday. So we sterilized a jar and I went in that and kept it in the fridge til I could get the doctor to order the test. Finally Monday morning the doctor ordered the urine test. I went to Lab Corp and took my bottle. They couldn't test it because there was no chain of custody so I gave them a fresh sample which later came back negative. Monday morning at Lab Corp I couldn't even still remember my phone number, so I ended up breaking down and crying there too.
This has been most devastating thing. I have been seeing a psychologist and was put on antidepressants. I won't go out. I’m scared to ever see them again. I don't date. I have no social life and I don't want to. The only thing I do is have friends over to my house for dinner. I trust no one anymore. I have never been in trouble my whole life, never had a history of alcohol or drug use. The only ticket I ever got was when I was 24 yrs old for speeding 45 in a 35. But here I am getting charged with a DWI losing my license which will also affect my career and have spent over $12,000 already in hospital, ambulance car repairs and attorney fees.
Since this has happened I have researched this and found that this crime is prevalent in this area and the south primarily, but there is no public awareness and evidently older woman are targets for some reason?! Although date rape carries a 250,000 fine and up to 20 years in jail. No one is ever prosecuted because you can't catch them and the authorities do not know how to recognize this type of crime. The hospitals should make these tests standard protocol and a rape kit should be done when a 58 year old woman is brought in to the hospital with no bra on!?
It’s almost seems like the perfect crime, and the victim gets turned into the criminal. I honestly don't know how I got a .19 BAC. I don’t even like the taste of alcohol and have no idea what I could've drank to be that high of a limit.
The worst is the emotional and mental toll it is taking on my life. Because I am a control freak I just can't stand not knowing what actually happened to me and because I don’t know all these different scenarios just continue to go through my mind on a daily basis. I would love to get out and help create more public awareness to this type of crime so that other woman could protect themselves better than I did and would know this happens frequently and how devastating it can be. I would also like to pursue how I can go about getting laws changed for this type of crime.
Maybe that’s the only way I could make something good come out of this never-ending nightmare.
I am sorry to be so long winded but I wanted you to know all of the facts. I really hope you can help me or give me some advice or direction and I am sorry for the late notice but I just got your contact info about 3 hours ago.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
I really didn't make a lot of progress with my attorney today but tomorrow is my court date and I pray that the judge will listen to my story and realize this is not another slam dunk DWI case. I have decided I cannot accept a DWI conviction and even though I have spent so much money thus far I am determined at the very least to have my name and record cleared . If I lose tomorrow, I plan to appeal and will probably retain another lawyer. Is there a possibility if I could get you the police video for you to analyze my behavior and testify to the effects of date rape drugs and how these criminals cover up their crime so they never get caught, on my behalf in the appeal. I know you can't give me an exact $ amount at this time but can you provide me with a rough estimate high/low of what your fee might be to come here and do that for me.
A few months ago I happened to catch a segment of 48 hours mystery and they were showing a man on GHB and he acted almost like I did. He kept falling down and didn't even try to break his fall either. That’s when I knew I had to fight this and not give up. I just believe in my heart of hearts that I was given something just like that and I need to prove it somehow.
Court did not go well at all. They wouldn't throw out the BAC because they said my lawyer failed to file a pretrial motion to suppress the blood results. I didn't get a chance to speak, my friends also didn't get the opportunity to speak. The judge threw the book at me. I got 30 days suspended jail sentence, 1 year probation, 40 hours community service and 24 more hours of alcohol abuse school. ( I already did 20 hours via an assessment) 1 year driving suspension with no driving at all for 45 days and until I put an alcohol detecting machine in my car 2000.00 plus 200 a month to have it calibrated every 30 days, plus pay the fines and court costs.
I almost fainted right there in the court room. I asked for an appeal and was going to get a new attorney. But I have spoken to one and he said it would almost be impossible for me to win in an appeal without a test showing date rape drugs in my system and North Carolina has now passed a law that requires a mandatory 1 year jail sentence for anyone having a BAC over 15. He said it would cost upwards of 20 to 25000 to do an appeal and I could get a worse sentence than the above. Another attorney said I would be laughed right out of the appellate court to go in there and say I was raped and given a date rape drug with no proof to back me up he said the judge could even give me a harsher sentence for taking up the court’s time. He refused to even take my case.
This is an evil, terrible world we live in and our justice system is a total travesty. I have no choice to accept this sentence. But I am more determined than ever to create more public awareness of this type of crime and warn other woman.